i know that i haven’t blogged in a while. and i am really sorry to have been so neglectful. there are so many things that have happened as you know amber came home and she is doing really well. god has blessed us with this angel.  i look at her and i am in awe of her. she’s not even suppose to be here and yet she has grown from  14 ounces to 5 pounds almost 6 months later.praise god . i am thankful for my family and for all the blessings in my life, god has been good to me and my family. today i got a call from my aunt telling me that my mom is back in the hospital again she has   copd  she isn’t doing well at all. she has been sick for quite a while now. she is on oxygen and so swollen that she isn’t recognizable. i am asking that all who read this please pray for her, i don’t want my mom to suffer anymore. even thou my mom has only been sick with this lung disease for about 2 years, it may have been longer than that .that’s just how long I’ve known about it, she has battled many years of depression and she battled with bi-polar.as i am typing this post my heart burdens for her. it seems that she has battled all her life Thur many things, and now her battle may soon be over. living life with a mother who you  never knew one day to the next what kind of spirit she would be in  is not easy at all , she’s  a whole lot like a box of chocolate you never know what or who you will get. but even so you  know i still love her. she’s my mother she’s the only mother i will ever have.  you probably know by now it hasn’t always been smooth sailing with mom, but i have spent a lifetime trying to please her, but now i feel like i have failed her once again. she wants me to somehow fix whats broken and i can’t. i can’t repair her lungs or her brain, oh how i wish that i could give her those things back and more but i can’t. the only thing that i can do is pray that god will comfort her and  give her peace and believe that god will do all things according to his will. last Wednesday night my mom invited me to her church to sing a few songs , she also wanted me to here her read a few scriptures from the bible and i went. i prayed about it first because i don’t want to go sing anywhere that god’s not in it. i had a few songs picked out to sing. i was going to sing “god on the mountain” and “what you took from me ” by the time i got there god has changed the songs on me. he laid heavy on my heart my mother and the time that she has left here on this earth and changed both songs, i ended up singing “going home” and “build my mansion” my mother sung also  ” if we never meet again this side of heaven” and she read psalms 23. i think that god is preparing me and my mother for what’s ahead, and i believe that he is giving me comfort . i also believe that if god wants her healed he will do so, and when he is ready for her he will call her home to be with him. to anyone reading this remember to tell your mother you love her, no matter what your relationship with her may be. she is still your mother and always will be.   well if i have burden any of you with this i am sorry. i just needed to vent ,more than anything  i just need your prayers but  she needs them more. god bless you all Sara

today i got a email from one of our church members and because i know that they walk closely with the lord, i know that that is why they wrote the kindest words ever of encouragement. i hadn’t spoke with them since Sunday but somehow they knew. and too that person you are a god-sent angel abound here on earth. many times god sends folks in our lives so that we don’t lose sight of our purpose. it has been a really hard week for me and it is encouraging to know that i am loved and thought of and most of all  appreciated. sometimes people just assume that you know it, but it is still nice to hear. most days when i am feeling well and even on the days that i feel bad because that when you receive most of your blessings is when you don’t want to do it. i sit here at my house with my karaoke machine that i have and sing all the songs that i have. sometimes i sing the same one over and over again. it is my meeting place to be with god just me and him and my dog of course ( ha-ha) i thought i put some humor there. but seriously i sing to god all the time because sometimes that’s the only way i know to tell him whats going on with me. i mean i talk to god and i pray too. i only pick songs to sing  that i feel . whether it is something i am going Thur or feeling at that moment. because i know there are others that feel the same way too. i want to be a blessing to others in every-way that i can. and sometimes i think i bless those Thur songs that i sing for the lord. i could never do this with out him. when the enemy strikes and trust he does he will do anything and everything to keep you from doing god’s will. this past Sunday troy said that he ask god for a sign if he was meant to sing Sunday morning or not, and i thought oh wow how often do i ask you that too lord, and troy said he shouldn’t have to ask god to do it he should want to come in there and sing praises to him and i thought oh my goodness lord you are so right. but then the devil whispered yeah sing praises but don’t show off your talents as if you have any talents to show off  and then i was set back again for a little bit… then i said to the devil …get behind me you old devil ” he that is within me is greater than you” and i also said that i was glad that he  ( the devil )thought that i showed off my talents because god was very pleased that he could not stop the spirit of the lord … besides i am not showing off my talents i am showing off god’s talents that he has given me to do his works with .. believe me i am not being boastful either… i do not think  highly of myself  i can not do this on my own, i may sing a song different then what you have heard it but the blessing is i sung it the way god wanted it done . i am saying all this and still feel humble enough to say that i don’t feel worthy to sing any song for god or for you  but yet he lifts me up so i can stand on mountains, oh what a savior….god bless sara 

two sunday’s ago one of our deacons in the church thought that i was crying from being heartbroken over my daughter heather moving to Winston Salem to stay at the Ronald McDonald house , and believe me i know that’s how it looked but in fact it was tears of joy. i prayed that god would open a door for heather to be closer to amber and he answered my prayer. i just stand amazed that god hears me. i have prayed that heather would make Christ her own personal saviour and she is turning her faith to him. i have seen changes in heather that i have prayed for and now i see the results of those prayers and i am amazed by god grace!!! god is so faithful even when your not!! i love being a child of god and i am grateful that my love ones are his children as well. god has made miracles happened that only god could do. the only person that can take the glory in amber & heather’s remarkable recovery is god. he has breathe air into the nostrils of  amber that when she was born wasn’t given much of a chance and heather he has given her another chance at life to witness and serve him. heather spent 2 weeks in the hospital after amber’s birth fighting for her life because of a rare blood disorder that no one knew about until she was delivering amber  4 months too soon.  that in itself is a miracle!!! i was with heather when she found out that she was pregnant. and the first thought in my head when the Dr. told heather that she was pregnant was OK god  you must have a plan that i am not seeing right now. as the news sunk in i thought OK god you are in control here so lead my steps and control my thoughts and please lord give me the right words to say to this child of mine. i have been praying that she would get saved lord, not pregnant..you know sometimes you do have a serious talk with him joking around. i left the Dr.s office with heather and i looked  over at her and she was crying i hugged her and i said heather it will be OK god has a plan and you are part of it. he wants you to be with him and serve him and sometimes he brings storms so you will seek shelter in him. i told her he is ready to use to now, and he will use you and amber to bring him glory. i saw peace in heather that i never seen before. now she tells me what god told me to tell her. “  she’s my testimony mom “…talk about joy unspeakable…god bless

When i sit here and read my other brother’s and sister’s in Christ testimonies and trials, i realize what matter’s most. winning souls and being there for one another to encourage and to carry each other’s burden’s as Christ has done for us. i am so very thankful that i am saved and that i am forgiven, in my heart i know that i don’t deserve it. and thou i try to  win souls for Christ Thur the gifts that GOD given me, i still don’t deserve his forgiveness, or any of the blessings that i have received. God  has been better than good to me my whole life all though i haven’t served him but 3 years. he gave me a mother who has loved me the best that she knew how, since my father left when i was just a baby, and to this day Denies me to be his child. i have learned that, that’s OK. it used to bother me really bad. but daily GOD reminds me that he is my father. oh thank you lord !! and that’s he’s  the only father that counts. when i was denying GOD he  never denied me! praise the lord. i know that there are many people out there that feel abandoned by there families trust me i am one of them. i know that parents sometimes don’t always tell their children that they love them, that’s something that i know about to. i know what it’s like to be told that you will never be anything worth a dime, that you are stupid and a major disappointment to them and sometimes it is hard to forget those things. but GOD only ask that we forgive them and love them. so many times i have had to forgive for things done and said. sometimes i take the blame even thou it wasn’t even my fault. because at the end of the day when it is just GOD and me i have to ask for forgiveness too for what i didn’t do. i want people to know that my mom has mental problems and the father that denies me is an alcoholic. i not trying to excuse them for the damage that they have caused, but i honestly believe that they can’t help it because it’s like being in the dark your whole life how would you know what light look like if you’ve never seen it. so basically neither one would know the pain that they have inflicted, if they don’t see the damage that’s been done. that’s why i pray for them that one day they will open their eyes and see it and accept Christ in their lives. mom says she saved and at times it is believable , who am i to question if she is or not that between her and GOD. i guess the whole purpose of this blog is  if GOD wasn’t in my life  forgiveness would not be something i would consider. i spent a great many of years angry at my parents and now i am thanking them for the storms without them i would have never found GOD…just to clarify things here too GOD has never been lost only  i. so in giving some back ground to my past, let me reassure you of this GOD is restoring my relationship with my family even if they never change that’s OK he is changing me. you know even if our parents don’t bring honor to us we must obey GOD”S commandment and honor them. if my parents ever read this  i love you both for creating me raising me to fulfill GOD”S divine purpose in life which is to serve him. i hope this was a blessing for someone, if nothing else it was for me. may GOD bless you and keep you always in his tender care.

  I would like to say “Thank you Lord for saving me from the creature I once was, and from the place that i was heading to”  Because the life that I was living before I was saved  on may 2, 2004 I was surely heading to a place called Hell . This  has  humbled me  so much that  Jesus think’s that I am worthy of a place that he went and prepared for me in his father’s house. I have so many blessing to tell you about and with GOD’S blessings I will be able to share my testimony with someone that is in need of encouragement that may feel that they aren’t worthy of GOD’S grace, but i am  here to say that he saved me and I know the cost he paid on the cross for me  and it was great.so there is nothing that you have done that can’t be forgiven, if only you ask Jesus to come into your heart and life. with that said i will tell you about me. I believe that GOD started work many years ago in my life Thur my grandmother. she prayed constantly for me and my family.I was born with a hearing / speech impairment . my grandmother  took me out to the church that she and my grandfather founded and built in her back yard and prayed over me every chance that she got. she prayed earnestly for healing i will never forget how this woman touched heaven through her prayers. because i never forgotten her praying as she did for me i always heard her prayers in my head when i strayed far from GOD  and somehow that never left me even when i was lost , i always knew Jesus loved me, because i remembered that she said he did . I still have a hearing problem and some what of a speech problem but nothing like i had as a child. i had a hearing aid that i was too wear, well i have never worn that hearing aid. when all the doctor’s that i went to when i was 8 years old  said that i had lost 70% of my  hearing in my right ear and  50%  in my left ear. since i was 7 years old i always wanted to sing that was my desire. people would say  that i couldn’t because of my hearing, but my grandmother said  GOD had better plans for me than they knew. well i practice hard to sing everyday. when i was in my 20 i got offered a job singing in a local band. and  i did , but i still wasn’t quite satisfied. i wanted to sing and be heard but i didn’t want to leave my family. so i quit the band. i remember telling my grandmother that i was in the band and she shook her head and said you should sing for the lord. and i said grandma i don’t know any christian songs and besides they are hard to sing. i am laughing inside because you know what she did..yes back to the church we went and she prayed…i was still running from GOD  back then  but i wouldn’t dare hurt that little lady’s feelings so i prayed with her. In the 90’s  karaoke was the thing to do .  I Could sing my songs and hang out with friends and maybe meet someone .well  I am so thankful  to say that  i didn’t meet my husband in a bar, i met him on my job, and the friends i hung out with  then don’t come around anymore, and the music that i once thought that i had  found pleasure in well  it didn’t fill my cup up like now , because i have joy unspeakable and full of glory now i sing for the lord. i sing the sweetest music that i have ever heard.  sometimes i think a band of angels stand beside me when i sing and i do it for Jesus, not for myself. i want to word this so that GOD gets the glory and not me. it doesn’t matter whether i am a good or a bad singer the point is i wasn’t suppose to be one at all  not with my hearing/ speech impairments. but GOD had a plan for me even back 30 some years ago in my grandmother’s church where she prayed for me . she prayed that one day!! people would see the miracle that GOD made in me. GOD did two miracles here,   i am so grateful and humble that he would use me to win souls  Thur my testimony and thur  music and even more so grateful that he used my grandmother to win my soul to him. grandma went to be with the lord  in 97 she never got to see her prayers answered while she was here on earth. i wish that she could have heard me sing for the lord ,and  serve the lord.  i would have thanked her for leading me to Christ. but i believe even in heaven right now she sees me and is pleased.one thing that i have learned since getting saved, that prayers are answered and GOD hears each one. may this be a blessing to someone until we meet again i love you praise GOD  and thank you Jesus

Sara has not begun to post as of yet. Stay tuned………………..